Are You Exhausted? Here’s What Might Be Draining You - and How Therapy Can Help.
Modern life can be exhausting, what can we do to help?
Feeling completely drained lately? You’re definitely not alone. In our fast-paced world, exhaustion seems to have become the norm, and there are a variety of reasons why you might be feeling this way. Let’s dive into some of the key factors that might be contributing to your constant fatigue—and explore how therapy can be a powerful tool in helping you find balance.
Trauma and Hyper-Vigilance
If you’ve experienced trauma, your body and mind might be stuck in a state of hyper-vigilance—always on high alert, constantly scanning for potential threats. This heightened state of awareness is a survival mechanism, designed to keep you safe in dangerous situations. However, when this state becomes chronic, it can leave you feeling utterly exhausted, even when there’s no immediate danger in your environment.
Trauma survivors often develop coping mechanisms to manage their distress, which can inadvertently contribute to their exhaustion. For example, perfectionism is a common trait among trauma survivors. The need to control every detail and get everything “just right” can stem from a desire to create a sense of safety and order in a world that feels unpredictable. While striving for perfection might help you feel more in control, it’s incredibly draining and often leaves you feeling inadequate, no matter how much you achieve.
Overthinking is another common response to trauma. Constantly analyzing situations, replaying conversations in your head, and worrying about potential outcomes can keep your mind in a state of overdrive. This mental exhaustion not only affects your ability to relax but also prevents you from being present in the moment, contributing to feelings of anxiety and fatigue.
Trauma can also lead to anxiety and a tendency to put others’ needs before your own. Many trauma survivors learn to prioritize others as a way to avoid conflict or maintain peace. This chronic people-pleasing behavior might seem like a way to protect yourself, but it often comes at the cost of your own well-being. Over time, the constant self-sacrifice can lead to burnout and emotional depletion.
Modern Society and the Digital World
Let’s talk about modern society and our relationship with technology. In today’s world, our mobile phones and digital devices keep us connected 24/7. While this connectivity has its benefits, it also means that we’re constantly exposed to information, notifications, and the pressure to respond immediately. This constant stimulation can make it feel like our minds are always whirring, never getting a moment to truly rest.
The expectation to always be “on” can contribute to feelings of overwhelm and fatigue. Scrolling through social media, checking emails, and responding to messages at all hours can take a significant toll on your mental health, leading to digital burnout.
Toxic Relationships
Exhaustion isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, too. Toxic relationships, whether with a partner, friend, family member, or even a job, can drain your energy in ways you might not even realize. Relationships that require you to constantly manage others’ emotions, walk on eggshells, or sacrifice your own well-being are exhausting.
When you’re in a toxic relationship, you might find yourself feeling more anxious, stressed, and emotionally depleted. The constant need to “fix” things or make others happy at the expense of your own needs can leave you feeling empty and burnt out.
The Pressure of a Constantly Whirring Mind
We live in a society that often glorifies being busy, as if having a constantly whirring mind is a badge of honor. But here’s the thing: a busy mind isn’t always a productive or happy one. The constant pressure to think, analyze, and worry can keep you in a state of mental overdrive, leading to feelings of exhaustion.
The quote “still minds, moving bodies” captures the idea that true well-being comes from finding calm amidst the chaos. It’s about allowing your mind to rest while engaging your body in movement—whether through exercise, a walk in nature, or simply taking a deep breath.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can be a powerful tool in helping you understand and address the various factors contributing to your exhaustion. Here’s how:
Understanding Trauma and Hyper-Vigilance: In therapy, especially with a psychodynamic approach, we explore the roots of behaviors like hyper-vigilance, perfectionism, overthinking, and people-pleasing. Together, we’ll work to understand how your past experiences have shaped your current reactions and emotional state. By processing and making sense of your trauma, therapy helps you release the grip these patterns have on your life, allowing you to reclaim your energy and find a sense of calm.
Managing Modern Life Pressures: Therapy provides a much-needed respite from the relentless pace of modern life. It offers a safe, quiet space where you can step back from the noise and reflect on what’s truly important to you. In therapy, we can explore ways to manage your relationship with technology, set healthy boundaries, and create a more balanced, fulfilling life.
Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships: Therapy can help you identify and break free from toxic relationships. Through the therapeutic process, you’ll gain insight into why you might be drawn to these dynamics and how to set boundaries that protect your well-being. Therapy can also help you build healthier, more supportive relationships, allowing you to conserve your energy and invest it in connections that truly nourish you.
Quieting the Constantly Whirring Mind: Therapy can be instrumental in helping you quiet your mind and find balance. Through various therapeutic techniques, such as mindfulness, grounding exercises, and cognitive restructuring, therapy helps you cultivate a still mind and develop a healthier relationship with your thoughts. By learning to manage and calm your mind, you can reduce exhaustion and experience greater peace.
Addressing Substance Use: If you’ve been using alcohol or drugs to unwind, therapy can provide healthier, more sustainable ways to relax and manage stress. Therapy helps you explore the underlying reasons for turning to these substances and develop coping strategies that support your long-term well-being. By addressing these issues in therapy, you can break free from the cycle of dependency and find healthier ways to relax and recharge.
Hitting the Basics: Sleep, Hydration, and Screen Time
Sometimes, exhaustion is rooted in the basics—things we often overlook in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Ensuring you’re getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and managing your screen time are essential components of maintaining your energy levels.
Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. Create a bedtime routine that helps you wind down, and try to keep a consistent sleep schedule.
Hydration: Dehydration can lead to fatigue and decreased mental clarity. Make sure you’re drinking enough water throughout the day.
Screen Time: Limit your exposure to screens, especially before bed. Excessive screen time, particularly on social media, can overstimulate your mind and interfere with your sleep and overall well-being.
Checking in with Your GP
Before diving into any self-care or therapeutic strategies, it’s crucial to rule out any potential medical issues that could be contributing to your exhaustion. Conditions like thyroid imbalances, anemia, sleep disorders, and chronic fatigue syndrome can all cause significant fatigue. Seeing your GP for a thorough check-up can help identify any underlying medical concerns that need to be addressed.
How Therapy and Medical Care Work Together
Therapy and medical care go hand in hand. While therapy can help address the emotional, psychological, and lifestyle factors contributing to your exhaustion, your GP can ensure that there’s no medical condition at play. Working together with your therapist and GP, you can create a comprehensive plan to restore your energy and well-being.
What You Can Do to Reclaim Your Energy
If you’re feeling exhausted, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate what’s driving that feeling. Here are a few strategies to help you reclaim your energy and find balance:
1. Disconnect
Give yourself permission to take breaks from your phone, social media, and other digital distractions. Your mind needs time to rest and reset. Try setting aside specific times during the day to disconnect and focus on being present in the moment.
2. Set Boundaries
Learn to say no to the things that drain you—whether it’s work obligations, toxic relationships, or the pressure to be constantly available. Setting boundaries is essential for protecting your energy and well-being.
3. Seek Balance
Engage in activities that calm your mind and energize your body. This could be anything from yoga and meditation to taking a leisurely walk or enjoying a hobby you love. The goal is to find activities that help you feel grounded and centered.
4. Prioritise Your Well-Being
Remember, you don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s okay to prioritize your own needs and take care of yourself first. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
5. Consider Therapy
If you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios, therapy might be the key to finding balance and reclaiming your energy. Therapy provides a safe space to explore the underlying causes of your exhaustion, whether they’re rooted in trauma, modern life pressures, toxic relationships, or the burden of a constantly busy mind. By working with a therapist, you can develop personalized strategies to restore your well-being and create a life that feels more sustainable and fulfilling.
Final Thoughts
If you’re feeling exhausted, it’s important to understand that there are often deeper reasons behind that fatigue. Trauma, hyper-vigilance, the demands of modern society, toxic relationships, and the pressure to have a constantly whirring mind can all contribute to burnout. But the good news is, with awareness, intentional action, and the support of therapy, you can start to reclaim your energy and find peace.
Remember, it’s okay to take a step back, prioritise your peace and be there for yourself.